Promises, promises, promises. That’s all presidential candidates ever do.
And as you are very much aware, once they win the election they proceed to their victory party and their promises are thrown out the window. Together with the country. I analyzed all the candidates to see whose nose was growing as they spoke. Did you ever wonder where they receive funding for their campaign? Wouldn’t it be great if a bright banner from the Huggies Corporation would be hanging in front of the candidate’s podium? “And you can trust me,” the candidate roars. “There will be no leaks in our security databases when I take office.” What commitments are required to be made from these presidential hopefuls? What can the candidates promise already to their sponsors that have them so eager to contribute? An extra salami from the local deli? A sales tax exemption from all purchases at the 99 cent store? I know. Free cleaning help for a week!!! My biggest question is what does the candidate report back to his team after he loses the election? “I want to thank all my supporters, especially Ed who singlehandedly donated 20 million dollars that he had saved up from his piggy bank towards the campaign. You know we tried our hardest. But someone’s bound to lose and inevitably if I wasn’t the winner, chances are, I probably lost. You’re the best, Ed.” And we aren’t just talking about a few people that donate their time and services. There is an enormous committee involved. These include: spokesmen, strategists, marketing agents, field representatives, college campus recruiters, social media experts, computer technicians, hair stylists, make-up artists, fashion designers, and hot dog vendors (everyone has to have one of those). I love it when towards the end of the campaign, a representative comes out of nowhere and announces that he or she has decided to run, as well. This idea, seemingly, popped into this nominee’s head spontaneously. When asked about the sudden decision, they tend to provide the typical vague response. “Well, when I saw how the debates were panning out and the propositions that were being suggested, I said to myself that I couldn’t possibly allow the American people to be subjected to such madness. Who knows better how to run a country than I do? I have run a pizza shop now for three years. Lines are out the door.” Let’s face it. Not everyone is qualified for the position of the President of the United States. But anyone can give her opinion as to who that person should be. My eight year old daughter, who has been attempting to absorb as much as she can on the election, provided some valuable insights. “Daddy, what makes a good President?” Happy as I was that my offspring was interested in politics which would ultimately lead into a prosperous career (and hopefully the ability to support me some day), I proceeded on providing an age-appropriate response. “In short, we want someone, my dear, who will help make sure that people have jobs to support themselves and who guarantees that everyone will live in a happy, peaceful, and safe environment. “Well, I know the best candy date,” she exclaimed. “CAN-DI-DATE,” I enunciated. “Whatever.” “And who might that be?” I asked “Mickey Mouse!” my daughter remarked proudly. I wasn’t exactly sure how to respond. My first reaction was despair. Maybe my daughter wouldn’t enter into politics (and support me) as I had hoped. But in truth, if you contemplate a bit, it really would not be such a terrible idea if this iconic figure leads our nation. His revenues will, certainly, aid in pulling us out of over 18 trillion dollars in debt. And talk about job creation! So many more shows, rides, and attractions can be added. There would be such an abundance of venues you wouldn’t choose the hopper but be forced to spend more time and purchase a stopper. The sky is the limit (not mentioning air rights). Mickey is a hard working character who seems to have already taken the shirt off his back. This renowned rodent has the states of California and Florida in the palms of his white gloves. With all of the present nominees, I seriously wonder if our lovable Disney friend is not the fan favorite. But there is a deeper lesson over here and after I digested what my daughter had said, I couldn’t stop thinking of how brilliant her idea was. A child that visits Disneyworld is overwhelmed by a field of fantasy where wishes come true. The dancing lights and captivating sounds pull you into another dimension, one of happiness and love. Every age, race, ethnicity, gender, and religion walk harmoniously throughout the park, enjoying the brilliant atmosphere (and may I dare say the long lines). My daughter was right. It most definitely is a happy, peaceful, and safe environment. So get out and vote and make sure to consider Steamboat Willie. One thing is for sure. Mickey will have a magnificent time building his presidential library and museum….
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