First of all, children need to explain themselves, adults do not. What does this mean? I will give you an example: Let’s say that someone invites you to a birthday party. You like this person, but in order to make it to the party you will have to rearrange a million and one things and you will be exhausted, so you’d just rather not go. But, you feel really bad about saying no, so you say something like this instead: “I am so, so sorry that I can’t make it, but I have to take my son to baseball practice, and then I have a hair appointment that I can’t reschedule because she books six months in advance, and after that my husband has to go to a work meeting, and I am so sorry, but have a great time and let’s plan to get together sometime soon.” This is explaining yourself. Essentially, you are apologizing for having conflicting plans and you are feeling guilty for saying no. Next time, practice implementing boundaries by using this shortened sentence: “I can’t make it. Thank you for the invitation.” That’s it. I used to always feel the need to explain myself. Well, that opens you up to guilt and judgment. Own your decisions. Stop explaining yourself. Say no.
person and someone suggests that you confront them. Or, maybe you someone invites you to do something new or different to get out of your comfort zone. You say something like this: “Okay, next time, do it.” Or: “I’ll try.” Or: “I can’t do that.” Remember, trying is not doing. How do you know that you can’t do that? Shorten your sentence to this instead: “Yes, I can do that.” Yup, it’s that simple. Limited belief is limiting relief.