I'm not proud to admit it, but when my WIFI takes too long to load a page, I shout at my screen. When a car drives too slowly in front of me, I shout at the driver from behind my steering wheel, and get really agitated when I can't immediately overtake. When I get to a coffee shop and there's a queue in front of me, the wait makes me antsy and irritable. I’ve actually offered to pay the barista extra to bump me up the queue. I'm so used to the instant access culture of the internet, smart phones and fast food, that waiting has become really difficult for me. Even though I grew up in a time when we had to post letters and wait for a reply! I had to wait around at home (sometimes for days) for a phone call I was expecting. I would have to wait to get taken to the library to look up something that I wanted to know. Imagine what it's like for our children who have been exposed to our instant access culture from day one. You want to know where granny is? Phone her right now on her cell phone. You want pizza for dinner? Let's order one and it'll be delivered to our door. Are you feeling bored? Here, take my phone and play a game. If you've ever heard about the Stanford marshmallow experiment, you'll know that this really isn't a good thing at all. In the experiment, researchers ask children to wait in a room with a marshmallow. They’re told that they can either eat the marshmallow right away, or wait until the researcher comes back, when they will be able to eat that marshmallow plus another one. The researchers went on to study the participants in years to come, measuring their levels of success and happiness in later life, and relating it back to how they handled the marshmallow situation. In a nutshell, instant gratification potentially leads to a lack of self-control, a lack of perseverance, and ultimately lower levels of success in adult life. This may or may not hold true, as there are usually grey areas with all of these studies, but what I know to be true as an educator is that I can quite easily tell apart those children who are used to waiting patiently, from those who aren't. The 'waiters' are more respectful of theirs teachers and peers. They're gracious and less anxious in a group situation because they're not focused on having their needs met instantly. They understand working consistently towards a goal because they don't expect instant results. They show perseverance and tenacity, and put less pressure on themselves to do things perfectly the first time. I want my own children to learn how to be "waiters." I’ve come up with a couple of tips to help us all improve our delayed gratification skills.
