Potty training is one of those parenting milestones that can feel both exhilarating and overwhelming. On one hand, you’re thrilled at the thought of finally saying goodbye to diapers; on the other, you might wonder, Am I doing this right? Here’s the good news: like most parenting journeys, potty training doesn’t have to be perfect to be successful. The goal is progress, not perfection!
To help you navigate this process with confidence and grace, let’s talk about five common potty training mistakes and how to avoid them. With a few small adjustments, you’ll be well on your way to potty training success!
Some parents assume potty training should start when their child explicitly shows interest in ditching diapers. While it’s great if your child expresses readiness on their own, many kids need gentle guidance from you to take this big step.
Look for developmental signs like having a good grasp on gross motor skills, developing some receptive and expressive language skills, staying dry for longer periods, and maybe even showing some curiosity about bathroom habits. Once you spot these cues, it’s okay to guide them toward the potty—even if they’re not yet asking for it themselves.
Remember, you are their teacher and biggest cheerleader. By introducing the potty in a positive, non-intimidating way, you’re helping them build confidence and independence.
It might seem logical to sit your child on the potty every 30 minutes or so, hoping for a win. But this approach can unintentionally delay their ability to recognize their own body’s signals.
Potty training is about teaching kids to understand their natural urges—like what a full bladder or the need to poop feels like—and to connect those feelings with the potty. If you’re always setting the schedule for them, they might struggle to develop this awareness.
Instead, observe your child’s unique patterns. When you notice signs like a sudden stillness, a dance-like wiggle, or even a specific facial expression, gently prompt them to use the potty. This helps them connect the dots and builds the foundation for self-initiating trips to the bathroom. It may result in more accidents at the beginning, but remember that the goal of potty training isn’t to prevent accidents, but for your child to learn how to listen to their body!
“Do you need to use the potty?” might seem like a harmless question, but more often than not, the answer will be an automatic “No.” Why? Kids thrive on asserting independence, and asking this question puts them in a position to resist—even when they actually do need to go.
Instead, use a confident, upbeat prompt like, “It’s time to use the potty!” or “Let’s go try to use the potty before we start our game.” Framing it as a routine or expectation rather than a question avoids unnecessary power struggles and keeps things moving forward.
Some parents worry that using rewards for potty training might create bad habits or dependence. However, research shows that rewards can be an incredibly effective tool for motivating children to learn new and challenging skills—like using the potty.
Rewards don’t have to be extravagant. Stickers, small treats, or even a celebratory high-five can make a big impact. The key is to focus on rewarding effort, not just results. For example, celebrate when your child sits on the potty, even if nothing happens, or when they tell you they need to go.
These small, consistent reinforcements help potty training feel exciting and achievable for your child, building momentum as they grow more confident in their abilities.
It’s easy to feel pressure to have your child potty trained by a certain age or within a specific timeframe. But here’s the truth: potty training is a process, not a one-time event. Each child learns at their own pace, and setbacks are a normal part of the journey.
Putting too much pressure on yourself—or your child—can lead to frustration and unnecessary stress. Instead, adopt a flexible mindset. Celebrate small wins, like sitting on the potty without resistance or staying dry for an hour. These are all signs of progress!
If you encounter setbacks, take a step back and reassess. Is your child feeling overwhelmed? Are there external factors, like a new sibling or starting daycare, that might be affecting their readiness? Adjusting your approach and timeline to fit your child’s needs will make the process smoother for everyone.
Potty training doesn’t have to be perfect—it just has to work for your family. By avoiding these common pitfalls and keeping the process relaxed and encouraging, you’ll set the stage for success.
Remember, every child is different. What works for one might not work for another, and that’s okay. Trust your instincts, stay patient, and don’t forget to celebrate the little wins along the way. After all, potty training is a huge milestone for your child—and for you!
You’ve got this, and if you ever feel stuck, I’m here to help guide you. Together, we’ll make this transition as positive and empowering as possible for your family.
Check out Potty Training Consultant’s 1:1 consultations if you are interested in getting a more customized approach to potty training. PTC offers packages ranging from 30-minute phone calls to virtual support from start to finish: https://www.pottytrainingconsultant.com/consult
Also be sure to check out her courses on potty training at all different stages. Visit pottytrainingconsultant.com/learn and use code PARENTCO20 to save 20%!
Allison Jandu
Author